Location: The Suck, California

Me. Stars. Effers.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Effing Arnold...

As many of you who live in California know, today is voting day. Our esteemed (read: dumbass) Governor has called for a special election on a whole load of crappola that has no business being on a ballot to begin with.

So I'm sitting here getting ready to go out to my local retirement home and vote, and I keep hearing the voice of famed poet and novelist Charles Bukowski in my head. Specifically, it's a couple of lines from a poem he wrote about Arnold based on an altercation they had in the 80s. I find it particularly poignant today, so I thought I'd share it with ya.

Take it away, Mr. Bukowski:

"You little piece of shit!
You and your big shitty cigar, who do you think you are?
Just because you make these shitty little movies, you're nothing special, you megalomaniac piece of shit..."

Ah poetry. What is it about this noble art that can capture the complex range of human emotion so accurately?

Revisiting Bukowski, I can't help but wonder what he'd be saying - or more importantly, writing - had he lived long enough to witness this very special day. So I thought I'd work something up, a sort of homage. I've read my share of his work so here's what I think ol' Hank Chinaski would be putting down on paper after downing a bottle of wine and having sloppy sex with a 25 year old grad student:

"You freakish, steroid-addled shit-for-brains!
You and your big shitty Propositions, who do you think you are taking money away from schools?
Just because you make these shitty speeches in front of shitty sycophants, you're nothing special, you Gubernatorial piece of shit..."

We miss you Charles!

Don't forget to vote all ye Californians - that is unless you're voting pro-Arnold. In which case, just stay at home, pop Predator into the DVD, and smoke a big shitty cigar you megalomaniac piece of shit...


Blogger Paul said...

It's not a tumor.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Sizzle said...

well said!

i miss charles, too.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

You hold back way too much man. You're just going to explode if you don't let it out.

5:22 AM  

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