Location: The Suck, California

Me. Stars. Effers.

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Third Street Promenade is MAGICAL

There's an actor I've been dying to meet: Edgar Ramirez. He plays Keira Knightley's love interest in her new movie, "Domino." He's from Venezuela and he's smart, charming and handsome. No I'm not gay, but thanks for asking.

You see I, like many, many other lost souls in The Suck, have a screenplay I want to direct. And Mr. Ramirez is abso-fucking-lutely perfect for it. I mean, he's really the only reason to see "Domino" in my opinion. Well, at least that's what I hear. I haven't actually seen it yet. But my producer, Nathan, saw it and was all like, "Dude, that Venezuelan cat is gooooood." And if you know anything about Hollywood, you should know that second-hand endorsement matters more than one's own opinion. A multitude of screenplays have been bought based on the coverage alone, or by winning the Nicholl's Fellowship, or by... well you get the idea. It all ties into that famous adage about The Suck: "Nobody Knows Anything."

So, I had just seen "The Squid and the Whale" with a friend at the Laemmle Monica and we were headed to P.F. Chang's for dinner. "Hey let's cut through the Promenade - it's MAGICAL," I said, remembering that the pan-handler-to-sucker ratio is far less drastic there. It was a crowded, chilly Sunday night and I was walking very fast to keep Jack Frost from nipping at my balls - so fast that I almost didn't hear my name being called out from somewhere amidst the throng. It was my good buddy Carlos from the Endeavor agency hailing me. And he was with someone. A Venezuelan.

"Fabe, I want you to meet Edgar Ramirez." Holy shit, it's that guy! I say, "Dude, you are so gooooood in 'Domino.'" I meant this in the empirical sense of course, based on word of mouth and reviews, statistical research... He was very affable, very humble. He thanked me and then did a very unusual thing. He issued the follow-up question, "You saw it?"

How could he ask that? Wasn't the obvious inference that I had? I mean, hello, why would I say he was good in a film that I hadn't even seen? Well, apparently Mr. Ramirez didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday. He knows how The Suck works and his follow-up question immediately put him in a higher league than most up-and-coming actors who are just happy for the compliment. This guy doesn't need compliments, he needs truth. He's not an actor, he's an artist. A seeker, man. Dig it.

I didn't lie. I told him that I had not in fact, in the literal sense, SEEN the film with my own eyes, but that all the buzz on him is great. That I was dying to see it, but haven't had the chance yet. He seemed to be cool with that and we went on to other, less lie-oriented topics of conversation.

The good news? We're brunching next weekend. (again, not gay)

Jeez, I should really see his movie now...


Blogger Paul said...

I knew a guy who said he wasn't gay but that was gay and he told people for a long time he wasn't gay then finally said OK I'm gay.

That man was Rock Hudson.

5:59 PM  
Blogger Star Effer said...

are u comparing me to Rock Hudson? I'm WAY less gay than him.

6:53 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Oh, okay.

Good to know.

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Fabe,
Enjoyed your post on Edgar Ramirez. I agree with you in
regards to Edgar Ramirez being handsome, who are we kidding that man is Muy Caliente!!!.

Did you enjoy your brunch with Edgar? I have a question does
Edgar possess a great sense of humor as well as intelligence?

Let me know.


2:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who really cares if you're gay? But honestly there's nothing wrong with men ADMIRING atractivness in other men. It's just a compliment, it's not like you're saying you wanna go out with him. And so what if you did, doesn't change who you are.

9:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a question since you have already meet Edgar. I truly admire the artist in him. He has so much talent and always comes through in all the films I have seen him in. And the man is SO attractive, humble, and intelligent. I have heard some buzz that he might be gay and dating the brother of a Venezuelan ex-model/tv host Anabelle Blum. So....did you get a vibe he might be gay?? I want to know so to stop day dreaming about him haha!

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too, would like to know if he's gay. Please tell us what you know

9:22 AM  

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